1. |
Nightmares On 65th
01:28
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I heard her body hit the floor.
Because I just couldn't look,
as my finger pulled the trigger.
On the only gun that I could ever stick to.
I felt something come over me.
I pray that it was just regret, and not you
or your new found etherial figure.
Oh, how did this.. happen so quickly.
Do I have to lose you sweetheart?
I hoped we would part with the consolation
that we'd both continue to exist, but I saw the outcome.
As she looked towards me with forgiveness, she said
"everything will be okay".
And I doubted the words that came out of her mouth..
for the first, and last time..
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2. |
Reverie
01:39
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Sweetheart, I woke up and saw you right next to me.
Sleeping, dreaming peacefully.
Possibly about what the future had in store for us.
Content and complete were the only words that could describe the way I felt
at that moment.
I slowly drifted back to sleep, holding you tightly in my arms.
A smile on my face, and my heart right at home.
My eyes closed shut.
An hour and a half had passed.
A surreal vision then came into my mind.
No one was there.
An empty space next to me.
Feeling puzzled and lost.
I questioned where you could be.
and..
Where you had gone, where you had went.
Only to find out that you never existed.
That it was, all just a dream.
Who I had loved.
The one special and dearest to me,
Was never really there.
It was never reality.
I don't even understand.
Was it all just a dream?
It was never reality.
I don't even understand.
I feel so fucking empty.
It was never reality.
I don't even understand.
Was it all just a dream?
I just cant come to terms with the devil in my mind
to know its all just a dream.
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3. |
Sleep Paralysis
01:49
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4. |
Counting
02:04
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Trust me, I swear it was
never for the attention.
Or the affection that was brought to me.
All I heard was that it's for the best.
"Remember to take NO more than ONE a day."
I heard him repeat, while my mind started sinking in.
My whole life had paused, as he handed me the "cure".
To fix what was the cause of a shattered and unlucky heart.
To feel like I had a purpose, to make me want to stay and say that
I wanted to see more of this world.
I just had to take "one",
and the ghosts would slowly fade away.
My feelings on standby, as if they cease to exist.
As least I don't have to resist the dark cloud that
once stood above me.
As If all of my problems were just
a mere figment of my imagination.
Do you think..
Do you think..
Do you think that I want to
use these pills as a compass,
to find my way out of this place?
They euthanize all the feelings in my body.
Leaving me brain dead, serene, and STILL.
Oh god, how one day I wish..
I could just, wake up and not have to put placebos into my
system.
One day, i'll show the world.
That I don't need you around..
I don't need to be friends with Celexa..
to find my own light..
out of this fucking place..
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5. |
Sink (Might As Well)
02:18
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Friends in name only,
I shutter to hear they're opinions of me.
I'm sure that whatever they are,
mine are worse.
In my mind there's no solace,
It's always dark, it's always lonely.
I struggle to make words that don't scathe,
come out of my mouth.
My tongue trembles as I say something honest
for the first time, in a long time.
Watch everyone I care about leave.
Try to scream, and..
I sink.
Give up hope, as I drown.
Let me pull you under with me.
I'm scared of dieing the way that I lived.
I've learned to not rely on anyone not even myself.
If someone has to die, it might as well be me.
I can smile as I'm buried, because
I'm addicted to the deciet that
can fool everyone but me.
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6. |
Breaking
03:06
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Five years ago today
I stared the devil dead in the eyes.
I fucking swear, i'm not afraid to do it again.
They say there's only one escape in a mess like this.
But am I willing to take that chance?
I've spent days on end tearing and ripping myself apart.
If I commit such a selfish act, will the ghosts still be able to find me?
But I promised myself.
I'm not losing the fight again.
I'm determined to make a change where I once stood.
Don't act like you know how I feel.
I swear this isn't real at all,
this isn't what I hoped for.
Its hard believing this.
I'm starting to discover the reality.
Seeing that everything I knew was just a fabrication.
The pain, the pills, the ghosts, the lies.
Blinded by my own eyes while my insecurities destroyed what was left in my mind.
As much as it haunts me, the past won't define the person I am today.
Im not running away anymore, i'm not going to say what they want to hear.
I've had many people pray for my soul, wishing that my corrupted mind would follow.
But i'm not losing the battle anymore.
I've been to hell and back, i'm still at war with the feelings inside.
I try my best at hiding it. But I know the war will never end.
Five years ago today, I stared the devil dead in the eyes.
as frightened as I was, i'm not afraid to do it again.
Five years ago today, I stared the devil dead in the eyes.
I fucking swear, i'm not afraid to do it again.
I've lost so many friends to all these god damn demons.
Some dead, and some that will never be the same.
As shameful as it sounds, to me they were always strong.
To constantly fight a monster for oh so long. Was such a hurtful sight to see.
They may have taken my friends, but they won't get there hands on me. . .
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7. |
Finding Home
03:13
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Still questioning.
Still thinking,
About what you said.
Embedded in my mind.
You'd rather see me lying dead.
Still questioning
Still thinking.
If I was in the wrong.
I'm letting go of the mess.
So goodbye, and so long.
It was said, it was said.
That we both had made a mistake.
We know that isn't the truth.
Hold off on spreading the news
on a story that's still getting the best of you.
There's always going to be three parts to this mess, your side, mine, and the truth.
Will the world ever know? Who knows. But for now,
I'll just try my hardest and walk away. Far in the distance,
away from this land of misunderstood souls like you.
These ghosts won't haunt me anymore.
I'll fight the present, and forget the past.
Maybe in the end, four more pills were never necessary.
It was all just my mind, simply tricking me.
Making me think that I needed someone like you
in my life, to keep my lungs breathing this..
poisoned air
that your venomous words have
polluted
for me.
You didn't ruin my life, me hanging on just
made it worse.
You didn't ruin my life, me hanging on just
made it worse.
You didn't ruin my life, me hanging on just
made it worse.
I've came so close to caving in, but I found my home.
--And now, I've learned that all of that isn't needed here.
So dear, these are my final words to you.
If you can hear me, I'll make it as clear as possible.
I know it seems like I'm "giving up".
But in reality, I'm moving on.
I know it seems like I'm "giving up".
But in reality, I'm moving on.
After this you'll want to kill me.
Because my thoughts of you are gone
I know it seems like I'm "giving up"
But in reality, i'm moving on.--
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8. |
Chemicals
03:35
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The complacency won't linger here anymore.
I've found something worth fighting for.
Anxiety won't stand on my front porch
I've found something worth fighting for.
You can't hide behind your hubris,
or pretend you didn't do anything wrong.
I won't take what you did to me lying down.
You turned me away and thrust the knife in my back.
Twisted as I bleed a deep Scarlet red.
Salted the wound and doused it with gin
then blamed me for all your problems again
Salted the wound and doused it with gin
then blamed me for all your problems again
I felt nothing but defeat.
If my best friend could do this to me,
how vicious would the rest of the world be?
I needed your help, for you to stand by my side,
but you sided with the people who only wanted pain for me.
That meant one of two things,
either I was worthless, or you were a worthless friend.
I debated which it was for what felt like forever before
realizing neither answer would change what happened.
only I could, by fighting for myself.
The complacency won't linger here anymore.
I've found something worth fighting for.
Anxiety won't stand on my front porch
I've found something worth fighting for.
But no one said it be this hard.
No one told me the biggest obstacle I
had to face would end up being myself.
But I'm not the same person,
and this isn't the same fucking song.
RAWR.
I'm not sure if I changed for better or worse.
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Harmless Kansas City, Missouri
Post-Hardcore from Kansas CIty, Missouri.
Founded in December 2013, Pros/Cons was formed by former
schoolmates Christian Valencia, Jesse West, and long-term friend Sam Yankee. Combining a wide array of influences, the three created a unique sound that drew from Post-Hardcore, Emo, and Punk. They immediately began writing songs and started recording their debut EP.
... more
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